You want to make a change in your career, or your life, or something. You know that that means doing stuff. It isn’t going to magically just come to you. You have some ideas in mind but keep putting them off.

When we want something, why don’t we do the things that will get it for us? Well, here are the top four reasons:

1) The design of our plan doesn’t work for us personally
2) We say we want to do it but really we just think we ‘should’
3) We’re not ready for the result that doing it will lead to
4) It’s not a priority above other things we spend our time on

Knowing which of these is tripping you up can give you insight into how to stop tripping and get some momentum going with the career/life change you want to make.

“John”

I had a 62-year-old client who looked deeply at what was preventing him from taking the steps he needed to take in order to change his 30-year career. As we dived in, his biggest block was #3, and uncovering what really lay behind his procrastination changed the momentum of his progress.

Let’s call him John, because that’s a nice, generic name that people use when they want to protect someone’s anonymity.

All John was aware of was that he was stuck in a loop. He wanted to move forwards, but he could not get himself to take the necessary steps. Time was passing and stress was rising.

Sometimes (often) there are hidden parts inside us that are protecting us.

In John’s case, we discovered the part of him that was afraid. Afraid that if he made the changes he wanted to that it would end his relationship with his wife, that he would lose all professional credibility, and that he wouldn’t be able to pay his way.

Once we surfaced these deeper fears John could start to address each one. Because each one was completely manageable when broken down and looked at.

Often what stops us is all our fears getting tangled up together in one big bundle inside us, and we get frozen. And that’s demoralizing. Especially for people who are typically highly competent and successful.

So what to do if you find yourself not doing what you plan to do?

Well, first go down the list above and notice which of those resonate. Then, if it’s #3 ~ it’s an inside job. Find five minutes of quiet (yes, you can find five), close your eyes and ask the part of you who’s procrastinating what its concerns are.

Then wait for an answer. Yes, from the part of you that’s procrastinating. Because that part is different from the part of you who wants to get going.

After that, you can ask more questions to gain clarity. Or you can simply sit with the answer(s) you receive. Feel into and think through if it’s a manageable problem. Break it down.

Daily dialogue moments with the parts of you that are stopping you will deepen your understanding of yourself and what’s driving you. Otherwise, that which is unconscious will continue to drive and you’ll wonder why you can’t seem to get where you know you want to go. Enough repetition of this and you’ll start to think it’s a pipe dream and not possible. Which is a lie.

The truth is that that ‘sense’ you have about who you are – is exactly who you are. Don’t wait too long. And if you’d like support – reach out.